Home > Something Wicked > Something Must Be Done About Twilight

Something Must Be Done About Twilight

I make no secret about my succinct hatred for this poorly written abomination that has defiled vampiric lore. But the scowl on my face and the bile in my mouth has more than literary sources. It goes deeper than that. It goes long past my dislike for the mainstream media and teenage culture in general.  It’s about the talentless, but irrefutably hack writer who created it; Stephanie Meyer.

Now, I have read the first book and was emotionally blackmailed into seeing the second film; so any of you fans out there that think I’m just someone who hates it and hasn’t read it, as Bullet-Tooth Tony said so well in Guy Ritchie’s Snatch, ‘Fuck off’.

Let’s start off with something basic. The relationship between the two lead characters, Edward (“vampire”), and Bella (“human”), is little more than a parasitic dependancy founded upon abuse, both emotional and physical. Any idiot can see the signs. And it just so happens, someone HAS seen the signs, as you can see in this here link. But for those of you who can’t or won’t open a new tab, or even window if you’re using an archaic browser,  I’ll summarize. He has literally threatened to kill her, controlled her life, isolated her from friends, family and medical help, abandoned her in dangerous places and threatened to commit suicide. Because these are things sane people do, right?

Let’s face it, if any real person pulled any one of those things, a lot of the time they’d be out on their ass, and their only semblance of a relationship would be their preferred self-pleasure appendage. I’d like to thank kar3ning for bringing this to my attention via the link above. But yet the idiot Bella stays with the abusive bastard.

Which, in an unintended, but happy surprise, brings me to my next point. Twilight is the single-most chauvinistic thing I have ever had the displeasure of reading. Which isn’t entirely surprising, considering that Stephanie Meyer is a Mormon, and the whole disrespecting women thing is pretty much what they do. We’re looking at an off-shoot of Christianity that mistreats women on the same kind of line that Islam does. Because Mormon is to Christianity is as Twilight is to Vampire Fiction; little more than pathetic fanfiction that amazingly gathered a significant following.

In short; Mormonism pretty much claims that men are superior to women, and may pretty much treat them as servants. But hell, so does the Catholic Bible if you look into it.

Let’s do another character analysis. We’ve looked at Edward, the exploitative, abusive, controlling bastard of a pseudo-vampire. I say pseudo-vampire because there’s no scenes with him drinking blood, and vampires in the series can go out in daylight without aid of a MacGuffin. In fact, they fucking sparkle. Blatant heresy.

Bella. Let’s look here… she’s written to be your “average” teenage girl, besides some random mystery that makes vampires want her. Let’s see, she pretty much gives her dad shit, for no real reason that I can see, and even goes so far as to call him by his real name. This guy was the only character I could even BEGIN to stand in it. She’s more or less an airhead, who’s attracted to Edward initially because of his shiny car, and appearance. But wait, wasn’t she flirting with a jock a few minutes before pseudo-vampire wandered onto the scene? Wow. She’s also shallow.

The popularity is such that many fans of the book have begun to judge their relationship by Twilight; drawing comparisons and standards from the so-called “love” portrayed. It has become common practice for a woman to end a relationship because it doesn’t live up to the standards she created after watching Twilight. It has actually been made into a radio show segment in Australia. That’s how often it happens.

But don’t take this to be a book review; I have a point here. The message is that it portrays a shallow, empty-headed girl who defines her existence by a relationship. Which is no real way to define yourself, especially if you’re a victim of perennial abuse like this thinly-veiled Mormon belief is.

And just to round off the Mormon parts, the vampires don’t drink blood because Mormons don’t consume ‘chemicals’ such as wine and caffeine. There’s plenty of Mormon beliefs in Twilight. You just need to know what to look for.

And here’s where my real clusterfuck of anger begins. A portion of the money Stephanie Meyer makes from Twilight, goes to the Church of Mormon, because that’s part of their religion. A tithe, like the kind that was mandatory in the middle ages. So last year, the Church of Mormon spent millions upon millions of dollars in advertising, in their pursuit of banning Gay marriage in California, via Proposition 8. Which was passed, might I add. Very disappointed, voters of America.

Is it any coincidence that they spent such a ludicrous amount of money, in advertising alone, for one state, in the first year of Twilight being in the cinema, and it’s debut to the general public at large? Oh gee whiz, do you think so? So not only is it poorly written and just shitting on the pre-established vampire and werewolf lore, and promoting abusive relationships (as long as the man does the abusin’), but it also gives money to setting back the civil rights movement. Just lovely.

And that’s where my recent thoughts come into it, and the title is finally appropriate. I want something done about it, in the name of the good of society. Uproars have been created over less in this world. The story is empty and shallow, the message isn’t one I’d want anyone I care about being affected by, and it’s skewing the public’s view on vampires.

In the way of Project Chanology and their ongoing battle against the Church of $cientology, I want to raise awareness, at least. People just think this is some new fad of kids; they don’t know the real truth, they don’t know the real message. If Mormon suddenly opened itself up with an advertising campaign as the “Twilight Church”, the numbers they could rake it would be staggering.

Something needs to be done.

Often, when we find ourselves in a situation like this, there is often an organisation or group dedicated to the same task, or views. But there isn’t one for this. That is why I posted this. I want to get one started. It’s up to us; the world wide web, to spread the truth; about both Twilight and the Church of Mormon. The task is at hand, and the task is ours. Embracing the truth will change your fate.


P.S. You want a supernatural story that is, at heart, a love story? Try Spawn. Al Simmons literally sold his soul to the devil to a chance to see his wife again.

Categories: Something Wicked
  1. November 30, 2009 at 10:28 am

    So you don’t like “disrespecting women”?

    Tell me. Did you also do an angry review of “Bring It On?”

    How about “American Pie?”

    Any recent rap videos?

    VH1 in general?

    Yeah… for sure. Mormons are definitely the biggest threat to female self-respect out there right now.

    Like… totally.

    I mean, are you for real? You talk about disrespecting women and you advocate for a comic book series where just about every female character in the pages is arched like she’s having an orgasm on the spot? Where the guys dress more or less normal, but every woman is undeniably a sex object.

    Little self-observation please. Right now you just sound oblivious.

    • November 30, 2009 at 7:29 pm

      You started well. A lot of the modern world is in on it. Old habits die hard. Or in a more literal sense, senseless archaic doctrine dies hard.
      And while I agree with you about VH1, Rap, and those two idiotic movie series, people tend to realize that they’re not the most female-friendly things around. But people -don’t- really seem to know the darker side of this Twilight garbage.
      And the biggest threat towards women’s rights? It’s the religions that believe in the inherent inferiority of women. And that wasn’t the whole point of the rant. The civil rights movement is suffering too. Can you honestly tell me that you believe that same-sex couples don’t deserve the same rights heterosexual couples do?
      But I guess in this argument we can hardly be seen as unbiased fellows. Not that it was much of an argument rather than attempted diversion. Good day to you, sir.

    • Miss Anonymous
      December 2, 2009 at 8:33 am

      There are several critical mistakes with your argument. First of all the two movies you listed have a fair amount of comedic value. Noone’s going to take them seriously, especially American Pie. Hell I even watched some of the American Pie movies with my mother. She laughed and enjoyed every second of them. And that’s from a woman who thinks anyone who watches porn is the spawn of Satan.

      The problem with Twilight is the abuse and suffering Edward puts Bella through, and the fact that teens and mature women typify that as a ‘perfect’ relationship. Some even dump their boyfriends because their relationship doesn’t have the same ‘intensity’.

      Because Mike hasn’t read Eclipse or Breaking Dawn I’ll enhance some of his points. In Eclipse, Edward flat out refuses to let Bella see Jacob. He even goes so far as disabling her car so she can’t drive to him. And then when Jacob does come to see her and pick her up, Bella gets scolded when she goes back. And she lets him! If my boyfriend stopped me from seeing my male friends I’d be frakking pissed.
      Edward then proceeds to bully her into accepting his proposal, and uses her as bait to kill another vampire.

      During Breaking Dawn Bella gets married, knocked up, almost killed by her freak of nature baby, then turned into a vampire, and that’s just in the first half of the book. And while we’re on the subject of Bella turning into a vampire, during the process she’s given morphine which for some unexplained (unexplainable more like) reason does shit all and buggery. And which religious sect frowns upon the use of body state altering chemicals? I think you know who I’m refering to.

      The Mormons aren’t the only problem, but rather the Christian religion as a whole is. You have Mormons who treat women like slaves, Catholic priests who can’t sleep with women because they’re the spawn of Satan and caused the original sin, Jehovah’s Witnesses who think all men are superior and god knows what the Baptists and Presbyterians are up to.
      Seem like the Anglicans are the only equal rights sect around. They’re even pro-abortion and pro-gay marriage

      • December 2, 2009 at 6:16 pm

        Wow. That sounds like some nasty shit right there, thanks Miss Anonymous. I don’t want to put up with any more of Twilight than I already have, so your addition really helps. And you’re right, the entire Christian religion, including offshoots, are the problem. I usually just refer to them as “The Cross” as a collective, as they all tend to be united under the cross. There’s a webcomic called Suicide for Hire wherein one of the characters; Hunter Ravenwood, points out the hypocracy of the church, going from the subject of gay marriage to their silent approval of the holocaust.
        And it’s true. I don’t know if you’re in Australia, but one radio show here has a weekly or monthly segment where people can call in where Twilight has ruined their relationships. And the Twilight-counterculture, i.e. people wearing shirts mocking it, are just as infuriating in some cases. It all comes from the same stores.

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